Dave's Family are My Family

Forgive yourself: for being angry or disappointed with others, including the one who died and left you; for being powerless to have prevented the loss; for everything you wish you had or hadn’t done.  # 9 “Grief Therapy” edited by Karen Katafiasz.

It’s raining, it’s pouring and it’s dark outside.  I’m sitting in the living room with Mom while Dad loads the dishwasher.   The clock has just chimed 8 o’clock and is now ticking away the time I have left here.  I said goodbye to Dan and Rhonda today.  Mom says, “Don’t say goodbye.  It’s too final” so I change it to “fare well”.   No words can truly convey how much they mean to me and how utterly thankful I am for their support, love and friendship.  Dave and Dan were not just brothers, they were best friends and even before I knew Dan, I loved him for being the brother that he was to Dave.

Funny thing is, when I met Dan two years ago, we had both heard of each other from Dave and now were face to face, checking each other out, I guess.  Dan later told Dave that I was more sensible than he thought I would be.  I asked Dave if that was because Dave had given him that impression from the words he had used to describe me or if it was because Dan didn’t think anyone could like Dave so much and be that sensible. 

Dan told me last week, “Either she loved him very much or she had no sense”.  I’m glad he realised it was the former. 

The heater warms the livingroom and mom brings my phone over to me as I had left it on the kitchen table.  When I came here with Dave two years ago, Mom said, “And who are you??!!” Two years ago when I was here for Dad’s 90^th birthday, Dave and I hadn’t really made public our relationship because we were still working through our own issues of what we meant to each other.  On the Sunday afternoon, Dave and I went for a walk through the woods, just the 2 of us and it was on that walk that I knew that I loved Dave and wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him.  As I walked behind him on that narrow trail, I wondered what he would say if I proposed to him but I didn’t propose because I wanted him to figure it out on his own.

I loved mom and dad from that weekend on.  I admired their faith, I admired them for having been married for more than 60 years and having brought up 6 children.  I laughed when I heard stories about the way the kids had grown up.  I listened to the beautiful music that Brent, Denise and their sons, mom and Dan made on Sunday morning church.  I felt a part of this family even before I was a part of this family.

Dad just walked past pushing his Cadillac walker and asks Mom,”Whatcha doing there, hon?” and I watch and listen, thankful to be a part of this family.

Tomorrow Dad and Mom will drive me to the bus stop so that I can get a shuttle bus to the airport.  We don’t know when we’ll see each other again.  As I type, we eat the Lindt Lindor Truffles that Dan and Rhonda gave me.  Yummy!

There will be tears tomorrow but the tears of parting are worth the love we all share.

Thank you Lord for this family I belong to.  Thank you for the love that we share, the love that binds us together through the good times and tough times, the love that will keep on going as we keep on going.