My Birthday Is Tomorrow

I just realised I'm going to wake up alone on my birthday tomorrow.  My horses are gone, my dog is gone, my suitcases are almost packed and I'm going to be alone.   Birthdays have always been something special to me.  I'd forgotten it was my birthday until I started reading messages on Facebook with so many friends and family members wishing me a Happy birthday and someone said, "Sending special Birthday wishes your way and praying that you can find some enjoyment on YOUR day."

Someone else said: "Happy Birthday to a truly unique and beautiful person! May you experience all the joy of this special day with those that love, care and support you! Much ♥ Carolanne!!"

I was having a mixed day of emotions.  I said to Dave's brother Dan this morning that when I'm having a good moment, I wonder if that means I didn't love Dave enough and he laughed and reassured me about how much Dave loved me too.  There's been paperwork to deal with, stuff to sort out because this weekend I leave my home here and travel over to Dave's parents place where I'll stay until I leave the States to travel back to Australia.

But right now, it has really just hit me that it's my birthday tomorrow and Dave is not here.  It hurts so much!!!!  I had thought about staying with Maurine and Lon tonight - I know if I called them and said I wanted to stay, they'd open their door for me but I'm not ready to leave yet either.

Oh I wish Dave was here.  This hurts so bad!