My Dave

To love so much that though he's not with me
My thoughts are of him and I wish he was here.
There are no words to describe the longing I have for him
To be able to share with him, hear his voice, see his smile
Feel his arms around me, holding me tight.

When I see photos of him, I remember how he felt
His large hands holding mine, or resting on my shoulders
I see his eyes looking back at me
The smile that was only for me, for this moment

His walk, the way he drove, his humour
His love, his generosity and even his gruffness
His morning habit of grinding the coffee,
Microwaving the cold coffee and leaving half full mugs
Of coffee in each and every room.

The way he would play games on Facebook,
Trying to make me 'first' for each game scoreboard
Standing by me, encouraging me to 'win'
Telling me to finish off word games
When they got too hard for him.

His arguments about governments and politics
His teasing ways
The way he would wipe a tear from his eye
When he told me of pain that he has felt.

Heating up a double chocolate chip muffin from Costco
To thaw  it out for his breakfast in the truck
Making his Grey Poupon, ham and cheese sandwiches
Finding a banana that was still good enough to  put in his lunchbox

Giving him his pill and vitamin tablet
Joking about how when he is old,
I'll still be giving him his tablets
Sitting beside him while he watched TV
His arm around me
And I am content as his wife.

Little things that didn't mean so much back then
All I knew is that I wanted to make lots of memories
Wanted to be his "excellent wife",
Wanted to please him and make him proud
Wanted to spend lots more years
With my husband, Dave.

My Dave.
My lover, my best friend, the man I wanted to grow old with.
Now gone from this earth
Leaving me here to go forward without him.

My Dave.