Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

The sun is shining brightly today and I even took my sweater off.  I went for a walk to the shops (stores) and tried to change my name to "Flowers" on legal documentation such as my licence, my medicare card (not the same Medicare organisation as you have in the States) and Centrelink (which is a similar thing to social security).  This is a small town so the policeman told me I have to go to the next country town which is 24 miles away to get my licence updated and to get my Medicare changed, I need to drive 62 miles.  I don't need to worry about Centrelink until I want to use their services.  I will need to buy a car soon.

I lived in this town for more than 10 years and because I worked here and spent time in the local community, I am a familiar face to many people.  While I was at the bank, one of my friend's who is a pw walked past and stopped to chat.  When I went into the local bakery for a delicious chicken snitzel and salad sandwich, there were 2 ladies there who knew me.  They both commented that I looked well and gave me condolences when I told them that Dave had passed away.

I applied for a job at a Christian school today, on the other side of Melbourne.  Another one of my friend's who also happens to be a pw spoke to the principal and told her I was an excellent teacher.  I wish that I had a job already.  I wish I had a car too. 

As I was walking along today, thinking about things, I thought about Dave and thought about the life I had with him.  It seems so long ago and so far away and on a sunny day like this, it's hard to keep a mournful countenance.  I talk about him with my friends and tell them stories that give them a bit of an idea as to what my life was like when I was there.  I know that every step I take is a step forward in this life but sometimes I hesitate, wondering if a step forward means a step further away from Dave and my life there.  At the same time, he is always going to be a part of my life and who I am today is because of the love and experiences he and I shared together.

I wish that he was with me and yet, at the same time, I know he is enjoying eternal life where there is no sickness, sadness and evil.  I am so thankful that God brought us together and I am thankful for all the fun we had together and only wish we could have lots more years learning and growing together.  

Anyway, Karen has been giving me lots of home cooked dinners that are delicious!  I've also been sleeping well but I still haven't gone for a real ride on my bike yet.  Tomorrow, Karen has told me that the washing machine and clotheline are free so I should catch up on my washing.  When I took my sweater off today, I noticed that I had some food stains from when I was in the States so I'll have to remember to use  pre-stain remover on that TShirt.

I guess as long as I keep moving forward, I'll get through this time and come out the other side, whole.  I miss you and all the rest of my family and friends who are in the States.  I am so glad that God placed me in your family.  You can have no idea how much I love you and I almost 'dread' the coming of Thanksgiving and Christmas, knowing that I won't be there to celebrate it with you all.  That hurts!

It hurts being a widow but I know that my dependency is on my Father God who loves me even more than I can imagine.  I also know that He wants the very best for me and that He does make all things good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.  These are not merely words to say but they are truths to live by.

Stay warm as the weather goes cooler.  I think of you often and am praying that God will continue to give you His peace at this time.

Love always,
Carolanne

P.S.  Karen loves the Huckleberry tea I bought for her when I was in WA.  She said she keeps burping Huckleberry.  Her family also like the Aplets and Cotlets I got for them.  Dave had encouraged me to buy some for Nathan last year for Christmas but I didn't get to try any until this time.  They are good!