My Perspective When Grieving

I wanted to start this blog post with, "I wish Dave were here with me" but that goes without saying.  There was a song on the radio tonight that said, "And I miss you like the deserts miss the rain" and that of course got me to thinking about how much I miss him.... How I miss having someone who's going to be there for me, no matter what and when friends have all given as much as they can, having that one person who you are home with, who has vowed to be there through everything and who gives perspective.  I keep wanting to share with Dave, all the new things I'm seeing, the 'old' things that I am readjusting to and wanting him to experience it all with me.  When I worry, he used to know just what to say or do, to ease the worry in me, he used to know how to 'quiet' my racing mind and slow me down to a more reasonable, living pace.

Nathan dropped in this afternoon and he could tell that my mind was not 'quiet' and he did his best to put things in perspective for me.  It is great to have a son who is so 'tuned in' and so willing to love and support me.   It was lovely to spend the day with his girlfriend, Melanie today.  Melanie, Karen and I went for a ride, then later in the day, went for a walk into town and a stop at the bakery for a yummy passionfruit kiss.

Missing Dave and wishing he was here, makes me feel like I need him here.  I need him to be beside me, to share with me and to be with me.  I keep thinking "I need him" and then have to remind myself, if I really needed him, then God my Father would have kept him here, because He provides all I need.  In my heart, I know that God provides all I need, that He loves me more than I can imagine and I need to just rest in Him.  I read in a devotion book today that "she felt as if she were hanging on by her fingernails. Then she felt as if God reminded her that His hand of protection was there to hold her up-- that she could let go, and He would catch her..."  I guess I need to have that perspective, too.  That I can  just let go and He will catch me in His arms of love.