Dancing With Joy In Molyullah

The magpies sang, the kookaburras laughed and other birds sang their distinctive songs.  A little robin flitted from branch to branch, bees buzzed around the lemons and their buds while butterflies danced together above the top of the bushes.  I sat inside this haven of rest, its high ceilings, mud bricks and partially closed curtains providing respite from the cacophony of worldly sounds and busyness.  When the kookaburra laughed and another one joined in, I realised that I had been missing that sound and I picked up my camera and obeyed the call to come and play in the Australian outdoors. 

I stood at the fence, breathing in the Euclyptus and Pine fresh air, looking outward to the gum trees, cows, and green hills beyond.  Without thinking, I leaned in a little closer, put out my hand and scratched it on the barbed wire.  A dead tree reached its lifeless limbs out to the thriving gum tree.  Was it trying to recall life, trying to remember the time when it swayed in the breeze and danced to the tune of fresh air and warm summer nights, when birds would make their nests in its sturdy branches and when lizards would run up and down the tree, looking for bugs and tree sap?

I sat down on the chopped down tree taking it all in.  I had been reading a book called, “The Great Dance” and another one called, “In My Father’s Vineyard” and at the same time pondering Dave’s mom’s thoughts of joy and all the words and their significance seemed to be flowing together, breathing life into my broken heart and asking me to come dance again in the love and security of a Heavenly Father who calls me His child and who surrounds me with His good, loving and strong arms, wiping away my tears and in a sense, giving me butterfly kisses of such tenderness while I grieve.

For the last 24 hours or so, when I was on my own, I cried out to my Father and asked Him what use is this time of ‘nothing’ and why leave me here on this earth, when I am not achieving anything and don’t have a purpose or plan.  When Dave was plucked out of this life, I was uprooted and plonked down on the other side of the ocean without the man, the dreams, the plans and the life that we had looked forward to. It feels like every step forward is a step further away from those hopes and dreams and I have nothing to replace it with.

I want to dance in the sunshine again, swim in the deep blue waters of the oceans, or even the muddy brown rivers that are shaded by the gum trees. I want to sing a song of hope and joy while standing under a gum tree or facing the rolling green hills dotted with cattle.

I read in the book, “The Great Dance”:

My aim is to pierce the veil so that we can see the sheer beauty of God, and in such light see what this God has planned for us and accomplished in Jesus Christ.  All of this is in the hope that we may see ourselves in an astonishing light, that we may discover our true identity – who we really are – and thus understand what is happening in our lives and move forward toward joy.

Yes, that is what I want to do and not only experience the joy but live in it so much that others are touched by joy too and want to share in the dance with me, with our Lord and King.  I want them to hear His laughter and know that He delights in us. I want us to know His love that is higher, deeper, wider and more pure than anything else this world has to offer.

But first, I want to have my broken heart made whole again so that I can move forward toward joy.