Do Not Be Anxious About Anything......

I'm really tired and think I will have a much earlier night than I have lately. Last night I had dinner at Nick and Jennifer's and the last few nights, Sonya and I have been playing games of "Words With Friends" on Facebook.  I enjoy all that but I also need to get some sleep.

I'm anxious today with so many things to think about, decisions to make and sometimes I just cry out, "Please, I just want some security/stability in my life!"  I just want something to go right and to help this walk along the garden trail ease up a little.   It seems so rocky at the moment, uphill and ever so hard.   I know there are pretty flowers in the garden with a sweet fragrance and I am so thankful for the blessings of friendship and family in my life but it's the practical, logistics of stuff that I want settled.

1. My car - It needs to be sold but now it appears that it might be difficult because it was in an accident years ago so people can't get financing for it.  Dave had seen that it had been in an accident but had said it was only 'cosmetic' and not going to cause any mechanical problems.  We didn't need to borrow the money, so it didn't matter.  The problem is, I need to sell it before I go back to Australia and I need the money so I can buy a car when I am in Australia.
2. The Estate Sale - That is on this weekend and there is a lot of things, including junk that will be sold.  It has been a lot of hard work preparing for it and I am VERY thankful for the family and friends who have given me so much of their time and energy to help me get ready for it.  While I am at times immobilised by my grief and sorrow, being overwhelmed by so much to be done, they keep chopping away at it all and are very patient with me on top of that.
3. A Job - I am applying for jobs in Australia and sending off applications but so far, I haven't even reached an interview stage.  I want the job situation settled so that I will know where I'll be living, know how I'll be living (finances wise) and at least will have one less thing that is uncertain about my future.
4. The Phone Bill - Dave had 4 of us and himself on a family plan which was a very reasonable plan for our cell phones so when he passed away, I cancelled his phone line and became the person 'in charge' of the plan.  Last month, the bill was what I expected.  This month however, it has doubled and it shouldn't have.  I called about it today and they were going to call me back but didn't.  I can't afford that much!!!
5. I was typing up the inventory with all the listed prices and then the "bottom line" prices on an excel spreadsheet.  I put a lot of work into it, clicked save after I had printed it out, then closed out the program.  However, when I clicked save, I didn't save it into a folder and it is gone.  I have to retype/redo the whole thing again.
6. Luggage for the Bus - When I leave here, I am going to take a bus from Spokane to where Dave's parents live but the bus ticket says I can only take one suitcase and I want/need to take two.  I will have to find out tomorrow if I can pay for the extra suitcase.
7. Saying Goodbye - Saying goodbye is never easy but it seems like every time someone leaves, I have to say it.  The assumption is that I will come back and they will come to Australia to visit me but my heart is doubtful about them coming over.  It is a long trip and not very cheap.
8. The House - Needs to go on the market and needs to be sold. 

It just all hurts so much.  I know all the 'cliches'.  I used to tell Dave that cliches are proven truths that people have repeated over time until we've heard them so much, we think they're cliches.  I know that God has a plan for my life and that all these things will be settled.  I know that God loves me more than I can imagine and that He provides everything I need at the right time.  I know that how I feel is all just part of grieving and that it will get better.  Rhonda said that it would be understandable if I was terrified at times.  I am not terrified because I am sure that God is holding me tight but I am certainly anxious about these things.

I also know the verse:

 "Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Phil. 4:6,7

I need to remember and act upon that!