Does It Matter Now?

I'm wrapped up in the blue snuggly blanket Dave gave me for my birthday in 2010.  He rushed home from driving after he'd been away almost 10 days and made it home in time to celebrate my birthday with me. 

This morning when I woke up I prayed that God would tell Dave how much I miss him and love him and I wondered if that would happen.  Does it matter to Dave now that I love him so much? 

When I grew in love towards Dave, I didn't realise how deep that love was until he passed away and now that I am trying to live here on earth without him, I'd give anything to be able to give him more of me, more of my love.

It's his birthday next Thursday and I wonder how I will deal with that.  I have asked friends to come and have dinner and a cake with me to celebrate his life with me because if he hadn't lived, I wouldn't have had the privilege of being his wife.  I wouldn't have had the experiences that I shared with him and I would never have loved in the way I did.  (and do.)  I wouldn't be the person I am today without him having been a part of my life.

Well, it's some sad moments but my friends who popped in this afternoon are popping in again this evening and I must admit, that over the last couple of days especially, I have been so aware of the beautiful friends God has placed in my life, including in my new workplace.  I am loved and I am prayed for.  I am so thankful for you.