Well, my surname is officially "Flowers" and recognised by all the government bodies now, not just a few so that's one more box checked and completed. A few of the staff and even students, have commented on my name being "Flowers" and one of the teachers calls me that rather than Carolanne. I like it! There is a sweater/hoodie for the school being designed and a name/nicname can be put on the back so I'm thinking of getting one just so I can have "Flowers" on it.
My class is going well and the students and I are enjoying getting to know each other. One of the boys who was naughty last year tested me and tried to be defiant so I gave him lots of positive affirmation and commented when he had done something good. Last year he told a teacher that no one loved him as he often gets neglected at home due to 2 other siblings whose behaviour take up the parents' attention. Yesterday when another student needed to go to the bathroom, I told him to take someone with him who was responsible and good and I named this boy. As he was walking out the door, he looked at me with a big smile and said, "I wasn't good last year" and I shrugged and said, "Well you are now" and he was one of the first students in the class to get a sticker for having earned 10pts.
As we went and did our farmyard chores, I told the students that they were all my favourite. One of the girl's asked "But what happens next year when you have new students, will we still be your favourite?" We were using the tune from Sound of Music, "Good night" and making up words to sing instead of talking which was fun too. Yesterday when we had our first show and tell session, they asked me to do one so, as I had a can of diet coke near, I told them that I drink diet coke and have done so for years. One of the boys asked, "Can we give you a slab of diet coke for your birthday?" and I replied that chocolate would be better, as long as it wasn't caramel.
We were revising nouns and started listing nouns in the classroom although I sensed they were getting a bit restless so I had them all stand and got them to sing, with the actions, "Heads, shoulders, knees and toes". One of the 4th grade girls looked at me with a smile on her face, thinking I was joking, but then joined in, as did they all. After all, heads, shoulders, knees and toes are nouns.
I am starting to feel a bit organised with filing and on Saturday will aim to get a good amount of my lesson plans for the term sorted out. Tomorrow when I have some planning time, I will try to get the photocopying done for the beginning of the week so that I don't have to do that on Saturday. The staff have been very helpful with lots of practical ideas and it's just a matter of remembering some of what I used to do as well as changing to a different format, what I am used to, too.
This weekend I will be picking up some very good friends from the airport, the king and queen, and I am looking forward to their visit. They won't be around on Saturday, due to another function which is why I can use that time for school work. I am also getting into a routine and aiming to get to bed earlier so that I can have more sleep. I don't do well on lack of sleep and when I am overtired, I get overwhelmed and things get out of perspective. I dwell more on the negative and sit on my pity potty crying that life isn't fair. And while it isn't fair, there is nothing I can do about it so I may as well have a good night's sleep and be ready to face whatever the next day will hold.
I am thankful that close friends and family don't give up on me when I am hurting and don't walk away when I vent and say stupid things. Grieving hurts. Not having Dave around hurts so much but screaming at the world isn't going to bring him back. Allowing bitterness and anger to seep in, immobilizes one from moving forward and blinds them to the other precious people/things in their life.
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