I Passed My First Assignment

Yesterday was going to be a day for study but ended up being a day for buying a new phone and setting it up. I could have, should have studied but I didn't. I can talk positively about my study and tell you how much I enjoy learning in both these subjects and that is true but I can also tell you how I am feeling overwhelmed by it all and wondering if I've bitten off more than I can chew. I have looked at both the assignments due in the next few weeks and I am unsure of what they require me to do. I am hoping it's only because I've looked at it briefly and that perhaps it will become clearer as I continue my readings. Tonight there is an online discussion about one of the assignments which I will listen to and maybe that will help.

I know that I put off studying when I am feeling overwhelmed and I keep hoping it will fix itself and somehow be done for me while knowing all along, it won't happen that way. One of the reasons I wanted to join a class was so that I could get the feedback of other students and work with them but this is an online course so it doesn't work like that. Today I will be studying no matter what. I want to have the weekend off, the due date for assignments is looming closer and I don't want to get so far behind that I can't catch up. I need to mow the lawns and tidy the house as there is a rental routine inspection on Tuesday but I will do that on Monday.

I logged on last night to check my student email and found out that the marks were in for my first assignment on classroom behaviour management and I passed... but only just! I got a C. My main area of weakness was the referencing which I knew it would be plus I also should have included headings. I texted my son Nathan to tell him about my result and I was feeling a little disappointed but I am so thankful for his response:

"Congratulations! Good stuff, mum, well done! And don't worry, you'll get there. Pass equals degree/masters and all that. And don't worry, it's bound to take a bit to get into the swing of it. You'll get there." 

This morning when I was lying in bed thinking that I had to get up and study for the day, I was trying to think more positively and then decided to do the pros and cons to keep it balanced. My goal was to pass my first assignment which I did. It is the first time I've done formal study in many years and especially being online, it's a huge deal. I am studying my Masters which is more 'academic' than doing a diploma or bachelor. I passed my first assignment without really knowing the expectations and without even fully understanding what was required in my writing.

Last night I was thinking it was all too hard and that I am not 'good enough' to do this but in the light of a new day, I realised that I can do this. Patsy Clairmont, author, speaker, comedian had on her Facebook page "Don't believe everything you think" and I read it and realised that I needed to apply that to my thoughts when I am feeling discouraged and don't think I am capable. I can do this and I will do this because this is what I am meant to be doing and what God has put on my heart to do.

So now that I've vented a little, it's time to go study.