The other exciting news is I have a job at the school I have been doing some relief teaching work at! I begin full time there in September and until then, I will continue teaching on a casual basis and continue with my studies. I enjoy working at the school and the staff, principal and students are great! (in no particular order.) The principal is enthusiastic, builds up and empowers his staff and is committed to ensuring the school is the best it can be and that it honours God in the way it is run. It is wonderful to be a part of a school that is growing and has an atmosphere of love, nurture and learning, where all individuals who are a part of that community are valued.
So it sounds like everything is going well and falling into place for me and I am content. On the other hand, I still feel like I am waiting for something to not work out. Recently I described my life as a rollercoaster. That is, it has the uphill ride, the thrill of zooming down and lots of bends that make it unpredictable. It can be exciting, scary, calm and daunting all at once. Today as I was driving home I thought of another analogy that might be a little more accurate. At the end of a long day, there is nothing like soaking in a hot bubble bath and enjoying the luxuriousness of it all. One can feel relaxed, have time to reflect on the day that has taken all of your energy to get through and then can even start making plans and dreams for the next day. However, after a time of relaxing, the water gets cold, the bubbles dissolve and your skin becomes all wrinkly. Ready or not, you have to get out of that bath and keep going.
I've had the long days of being worn out by pain, hurt and grief. I have felt as though those days would never end. Sometimes I still struggle with all that I have to do. I have a mental list called, "I know I can" filled with completed sentences of what I can do, many of which are mentioned throughout these blog posts. Some of those things I feel very privileged to have learned, some of those things I do because I have to do them and I know there will be more things added to that list as time goes on. I don't always want to add to that list. There are moments that all I want to do is curl up in bed and stay there but in my heart, I know that I want to live and enjoy life to its fullest so I take a step forward and expect the positive attitude laced with hope, to step forward with me.
So much has happened in the last few months and things have fallen into place and I know that it is due to the Lord orchestrating it perfectly for me. Having a job, study, a home, a dog, friends... having everything I need is all because He caused it to happen this way, out of His great love for me. I can relax in His love and soak in the knowledge that He is unfolding a plan for my life that is beyond what I ever expected.
It seems this blog post is full of clichés but as I used to say to Dave, clichés are truths that have been proven over time. I am hoping this stage of my life will last for a while longer. It would be nice to feel settled and be able to live a little without any more bumps, bends and curves for awhile but ... Like Mom Flowers says to me, it comes down to trusting God no matter what happens.
I am thankful for the people God has put in my life.
I am thankful for the learning I have received in my studies.
I am thankful for my new job.
I am thankful that I have everything I need.
I am thankful for the life I had for Dave and all that I learned and grew to be, as his wife.
As I hear the wind and rain outside, I know that it is cold but I am safe and warm inside. It's nearly time for sleep and tomorrow I get to meet one of my lecturers which I am looking forward to and get to do some paperwork to further establish myself as part of this new community, including changing my driver's licence and car registration.
Good night.
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