Before I left home to go and spend some time with my son and his girlfriend today, I chatted with Mom and Dad Flowers on Skype. It was only a brief chat but with the different time zones and me working full-time, it's hard to catch them at the right time. Yesterday I had to call them on the phone and ask them to turn on the computer so we could Skype together. I love chatting with Dad and Mom and watching them interact. So many years of marriage is testimony to God's grace and as I talk to them, I often catch a glimpse of Dave and a little understanding/reminder of who he was and who he takes after.
I was thinking about the blog post I wrote yesterday and was thinking about how Dave and I used to say that "Life isn't fair". We've probably all said it before and I know I've said it quite a lot since Dave passed away. It isn't fair. We know this and yet, when something goes wrong, we act surprised and even angry at the unfairness of it all. Life isn't fair and yet, we still expect it to be. We also think that it should be balanced. When life dishes out something unfair, it should then dish out some kind of reward for when we make it through the unfairness. I know I think this way at times. I think it's about time that I had some stability in my life, that I could make plans for the future and feel positive that it would happen, that I could own a horse and go riding regularly and all sorts of other things I would like in my life. But then, I often wish that I could have Dave back, just for one more day.. that would never end. Every time I wake up and remember a dream I had, it ends the same way - with me going home to Dave.
I drove down to the beach and while I waited for Nathan, I talked on speaker phone to my beautiful (step)daughter and her husband. She was married the day after Dave's funeral, which was supposed to have been her wedding day and she is having a 'honeymoon' baby so is due in a couple weeks. I told her husband that when she starts cleaning, he can predict she'll be having the baby within the next 24 hours. lol It was good to chat with them. Dianne told me that Riley (the dog) is doing a lot better. Apparently after I left, he went into a little state of depression and lost a lot of weight. I know that when Dave passed away, Riley became very protective of me and wouldn't even let the neighbour talk to me even though the neighbour was good friends with him and had even taken porcupine needles out of Riley's face. 
By the time Nathan arrived, I was feeling very happy and loved by my family. He talked to Dianne a little bit and while we were at the pier, we saw a car being pulled out of the water. Nathan and I both have an active imagination and were making up a lot of different scenarios as to what happened. Nathan looked for clues and we both saw the man sitting in the car with a brass plated telescope to his eye looking out over the ocean. When I was camping with the king and queen a couple weeks ago, the 'king' commented that "Sometimes you need to put your imagination to bed, Carolanne" but it was good to see that my son has inherited that trait from me, too.
I had a lovely time with Nathan and Melanie and we looked around an old antique type market. I saw old dolls, furniture and 'retro' clothing and part of me wondered why people would hold on to their childhood stuff for so long and then, on the other hand, why people would try to recapture and buy back their childhood or past. I had dolls like that when I was growing up. Our family had a lamp in the loungeroom that was similar to the one being sold at the corner stall and those clothes!!!? Sure some of it might have been valuable but that old pink painted fridge with the painted lime green insides??? I realise that one person's junk is another person's treasure but sometimes people need to stop and think about why they really want that stuff. We can't buy back our past and we need to move forward and live in the present.
I went for a little drive further along the coast and followed the rainbow to the water's edge. The sky and the rainbow rising from the water and a peak of land reminded me of God's unfathomable love and awesome power. I visited with a good friend and we sat around and chatted about what a small world it is. She started telling me of a dream/plan she had for the future and as it unfolded and as I added little bits of information on my part, I was reminded of how God wraps up our lives with a pretty bow to demonstrate His love for us. While we wonder what our future holds, while we reflect on our past, while we view the broken pieces of our lives and even the joys, He has the whole picture in His hands. I don't know how to express it as adequately as it is.
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