The Edge

When I came back to Australia, I looked for a car to buy and ended up choosing a Rav4 and one of the things I liked about it was that it was The Edge series. That appealed to me for a number of reasons and one of them is because sometimes I feel like I am living close to the edge which does not always foster the feeling of being safe. I picture standing on the edge of a cliff with the ocean thundering below and yet I am being held in place because I deliberately choose to be there. On the other hand, sometimes we can feel like we are on the edge of 'losing it' or on the edge of a new beginning.

Yesterday, I was packing up the bookshelf and I picked up the book by Sandi Patty called, "The Edge of the Divine". I had bought the book when I went to the Women of Faith seminar in Spokane, September 2011, just a month after Dave had passed away. I met Sandi Patty as you may recall from one of  my first blog posts at this site and that song in particular became very important to me. As I read the first few pages of Sandi's book, I read the following:

"A dictionary defines the word edge in several ways, but my favorite is 'the point at which something is likely to begin.'..  I deliberately chose to step off, not knowing what would happen but trusting God to work it all out for my good, just like Romans 8:28 promises." p5

"But here's the thing: an edge is the point at which something is likely to begin. It may not happen automatically. The edge may be a choice.." p7

"When making the right choices feels like stepping over the edge of a cliff into the unknown, it's a scary situation. With experience we learn to take that scary step, make that right choice. We can't know exactly how things will turn out, but we know God is right there with us, and he'll make even the worst things work for our good. When we believe that, we can 'stand fearlesss at the cliff-edge of doom courageous in seastorm and earthquake, before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift moutntains.. God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.'(Psalm. 46:2-3)" p8

As I have been packing up things ready for my next move, I have come across photographs and other things that remind me of the good times I shared with Dave. Sometimes it can be distracting as I get lost in thinking back to that time and  more often than not, wishing he was here moving forward with me. It seems that many people think that this next move is exciting and it is but sometimes I feel that they forget it's not just exciting, it's also scary. It reminds me of my loss, my alone-ness and the fact that I am starting all over again. While it is true that I make friends easily, I still have to say goodbye to those new friends as I take this next step. I  know, and have proven, that friends are friends forever and it's not really goodbye but it is still change and it will be different and I will have to go through the whole process of settling in and there will be a whole lot of new things to get used to.

So I am standing on the edge. It won't be long before I'll be on the road again and driving to my next destination. I am looking forward to this new beginning as I feel like I have something to aim for and a purpose and I am getting to do something I have been thinking about doing for years. I don't know how things will turn out but I do trust and know that God will be right there with me, as He has been all along this journey. I also know that He will provide me with whatever I need on a daily basis whether it be a job/money, a home, safe travelling or guidance. Never once has He left me on my own and time and time again, He has proven that He is faithful.

The Edge of the Divine (sung by Sandi Patty)

I'm looking over the edge
I see You waiting for me
Eyes open, face to the wind
Your arms are reaching for me
These chains have held me here,
Bound up in lies
But you say it's time I should fly!

From the edge of the divine
I can leap into Your arms
And Your love will catch me
Unafraid to fall
Into everything You are
Leave the past behind me
I am flying
From the edge of the divine

I've spent too much precious time
Rehearsing memories and loss
That Your blood has covered but I...
I must leave it all at the cross
Doubt whispers in my ear
Is it safe beyond these tears?
If I should fly

From the edge of the divine
I can leap into Your arms
And your love will catch me
Unafraid to fall into everything You are
Leave the past behind me
I am flying
From the edge of the divine

Into the wonders of Your mercy
Into the fullness of Your love
I am a child who's been forgiven
And You are enough
Yes, You are enough

Unafraid to fall into everything You are
Leave the past behind me
I am flying I am flying
From the edge of the divine

From the edge of the divine