Time

I still count the days since Dave passed away.  It surprises me the depth of my love for him and how it doesn't take much to make me cry more tears for missing him.  As I plod through life without his presence, I'm aware of how much I had made him part of me and how I loved being in the strength of who he was, looking forward to what we could share together.  There's a song that Laura Story sings that has the last line, "Please come home." and everytime I hear it, I cry and even now as I write that, the tears well up in my eyes.  (Now I understand that expression - tears well up).  I want Dave to come home.  I know that is unrealistic because he is already "Home" but I miss him so much.

Memorial weekend has just passed in the US and it made me mindful of Dave and how he served in the 101st Airborne Screaming Eagles during the time of the Vietnam war.  It also made me remember Dave's burial and how the Honor Guard and Patriot Guard Riders thanked me for Dave's service to his country.  I was presented with an American flag and with a medallion.  I still remember how humbled I felt and yet proud, of yet another part of Dave's story and contribution to life.

As June 2nd approaches, it will be 10 months exactly since Dave passed away.

As June 12th approaches, I remember our first anniversary, our 'redneck' weekend at a combine harvester's demolition derby.  June 12th 2012 would have marked our 2nd anniversary together.  We didn't even get 2 years of married life together!!! It's hard to believe that two years ago, I was in the States beginning the rest of my life with Dave and yet, here I am, already back in Australia after our life had barely begun together.

August 2nd is the 1st anniversary of Dave's death. It is also the day we have parent-teacher interviews.  I can not imagine how I will be feeling that day and how I will deal with interviews.  God give me strength!

September 23rd will be the day that I have been a widow for the same length of time that I was married to Dave.  

October 8th is my birthday.

October 14th will mark the anniversary of the day that I arrived back in Australia after Dave passed away.

You might look at some of those dates and wonder why I have them in the back of my mind. That's just who I am.  I am especially thinking of Dave as our wedding anniversary date draws near.  I hope I am not asked to do staff devotions that day.  If I am, I will ask to change to a different date, for sure.  

I am surprised at how much hurt and pain I still continue to feel.  There are days when I do much better but always, in the back of my mind, is Dave.