Packing Boxes

This year our Christmas tree was a moving box and not even packed, at that! Surrounded by boxes filled and waiting to be filled, I was not feeling like I wanted to celebrate Christmas. Stores were crowded and as Christmas loomed closer, I stayed home rather than be jostled around aisles by busy shoppers or be frustrated by cars that turned without indicating and aggressively squeezed their metal bodies into spots other cars were waiting for. T'was two nights before Christmas when I made up my list of "Why I don't feel like celebrating". I had the attitude that who cares if I've been 'naughty or nice', I think I deserve some peace at this time of year. I went to bed wanting Christmas to be over, boxes to be packed and everything to be 'settled'. 

As I waited for sleep to fall, I did some thinking. (Shock. Horror. I know. Not a surprise.) I decided that I needed to bring Christmas into my home and needed to change my attitude and so the morning when I got up, I cleared the kitchen table of packaging tape, documents and receipts, other stuff, Christmas cards and shortbread biscuits. I dug out the Christmas tablecloth, wrapped presents and placed them on the table. It was amazing how doing that, helped me to get excited about Christmas and helped me take stock of all the reasons I have to be thankful at this time. Christmas lasted a few days and we chose not to pack boxes over that time.

Now we are back into the mode of packing boxes, memories and dreams and sorting through the stuff that we want to keep, need to put bubble wrap around so it doesn't break, give to someone else who would find it more useful and/or throw out the bits that are broken and useless. Yes, I am talking literally and figuratively. It is an emotional time for me as I sift through all of my stuff collected over the years. I found a letter my mum wrote for me just after my son was born, I found my son's first attempts at a signature when he was 5 years old, a little teddy bear a past student had sewn up for me, memorabilia of when I taught (and was head of campus/then principal) for a total of 7 years at a small Christian school, photos of my time in the US, as well as letters and cards from people who love me. All of those things brought back memories of times of hopes, plans and dreams. There have been tears and smiles and those memories are also poignant reminders of how dreams were not fulfilled.

I am so thankful for how Andy has supported me over these last couple of days. At times, he has packed in a different room to give me space and other times, he has talked with me as I deal with the churned up emotions and memories. He has sat close and listened and he's gone outside to throw a ball with Milly or to sort through some of the storage boxes we've kept outside. I found a few of our wedding photos and showed them to him and he replied, "We looked so much younger then!" It will be our 2nd year wedding anniversary on the day that we leave here and go to our next chapter. I laughed and admitted that we did, or maybe we looked more relaxed and ready for whatever our future held.

It's quite exciting to see how this next chapter of our lives has fallen into place. I applied for a job at the last minute and after an interview, was accepted for the position with some enthusiasm. After a very relaxing holiday, we drove up to the new area we'll be, looking for a place to rent. During that time, the removalist company called and asked us hypothetically, whether we could move a week earlier than planned. 

Slightly panicked, Andy called the minister as his phone number had been given to us by our home group leader here and we were invited for dinner and reassured that if we had to come up a week earlier, he could arrange for someone to be there when the removalist came so that we could still fulfill all our appointments here. Another couple were also at dinner and they are going to be my colleagues at my new job. They all told us what the area was like and Andy felt much reassured. The removalist called the next day as we signed the forms for our new rental place which we like a lot and told us that we would still be leaving on the original day, not a week earlier. 

So, in between packing boxes, getting rid of stuff we don't need and wondering what the new year will bring, we also get to celebrate the new year beginning and farewell the wonderful friends we have here, go to our dentist who we both like and might have missed except we were told the dentist to where we are going is that good too, I get to have nuclear treatment on my thyroid and hopefully, we can book in to see my hairdresser one last time too. She did say that she'd be willing to fly up to do my hair if I paid for her flight ticket. 

The thing about leaving that is hardest is having to say goodbye. On Christmas night, we went to my friends' home. Sharyn and I have been good friends for almost 30 years and we have proven that distance doesn't break friendships. For all of the time we've been good friends, we've only lived geographically close for about one fifth of that time but I still remember when I walked into their home 3 years ago (almost to the day) that it felt like coming home. Facebook, email and phone make it easier to stay in contact and Andy and I will always have a home where our loved family and friends can have a place to stay.

As we head into 2016, we look forward to the next chapter of our lives. Just like any chapter, it will have its ups and downs, hard times and good times, be full of laughter, love and fun. Let's hope that there is more of the latter and less of the challenges! For you and for me! 

Ahh... The serenity of it all!

Each Day Has Enough Trouble

Earlier this week I wrote a list of all the things that were worrying me and keeping me from sleep. The list was relatively long and I tried to ignore the Bible verse that kept going through my head, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." We're now at the end of the week and some of those 'worries' can be crossed off the list while some are still waiting to happen and getting more worrying with time.

Change once again, is imminent. Once again I can claim that things haven't worked out the way I first planned for them to happen and once again, I have to deal with loss and saying goodbye to people who have touched my heart and life in their own unique way. Yesterday, it was time to say goodbye to my students and many of them were crying. One girl hugged me and sobbed, "Why do you have to leave?!" At the end of the presentation night, one of my friend's brought her daughter who was crying, to me. I reminded the girl that I had said goodbye to her family 7 years ago, hello to them in a new state 3 years ago and that who knows, but that we might meet up again in another 4 years time. 

As I move forward to another new school and a new place to make our home, I do have mixed feelings. On the one hand I have some great friends/colleagues to work with and I really have had the privilege of teaching two of the best classes I have ever had in the 20+ years of teaching. On the other hand, it's a fresh start in a beautiful environment where I am valued and the way things have fallen into place, has been encouraging. I received an email from the new principal today, about the plans for next year (sent to all staff) and then one from the head of primary welcoming me and giving me an overview of Term 1 and the year ahead. 

The staff and board gave me a wonderful present that I am looking forward to using: It's a double hammock with a frame. The friendships I have made among the staff are very special and I kept telling them they are always welcome to come and visit and try out the new hammock. As I talked with one of my peers today, she reminded me that there isn't a Bible verse that says, God will only give you what you can handle. She said, "Quite the contrary; God gives you what you can't handle so that you learn to rely on Him. If you could handle it, you would have no need for God."

We got the quote for our removalist today and it's going to cost a little bit more than we expected but it's still worth it. In about ten days time, we will go and inspect some possible rentals that are close to the school. The other night at squash, a guy who was on my team a couple years ago turned up although he hadn't been around for ages. We got to talking and I told him we were leaving and where we were going. He had lived there for four years and told me some of the places where best to look for rentals and some of the places to avoid. He also gave me his phone number and said that if I need to, just text him and he'll tell me about the area I might look at. Andy then asked him if he had liked living there and the guy said that he absolutely loved it! 

So we'll go on a holiday for a few days and then begin packing for the next chapter of our life. I know Andy will find it hard to move to yet another new place and start all over again but together, we can do it. Sometimes it's like having a bucket, throwing in the hard and the good, swirling the bucket around and mixing it all together before pouring it out over me. It's a shower of blessings, love, friendships, goodbyes, challenges and adventure. It's about taking good memories of now to a new place where good memories can also be made. 

Sometimes though, I still want a taste of a 'boring, normal and unpredictable', if only for a moment.

I also want my sore throat to be better, to cough less and to go and enjoy a relaxing and refreshing holiday. 

Be like Milly and leap forward with excitement!