A happy heart makes the face cheerful,
but heartache crushes the spirit. Prov. 15:13
How do you respond when you read that? I was reading something Holly Wagner wrote. She said, "So many of us put off being happy...... and the list of waiting to be happy goes on and on. Looking forward to something is important, but don't let it overshadow the value of today. I would like to suggest that happiness is a choice."
I have friends (and sometimes I can be one) who try to find the positives and blessings no matter what they are going through. I also have friends (and sometimes I can be one) whose heartache is crushing their spirit and they (we) find it hard to rise above our hurt.
I am sitting at my unpacked office desk looking out the window at blue skies, green grass and trees that rise up on the hill. The birds are singing and the wind chimes that I put up yesterday occasionally chime in a gentle breeze. A magpie is walking along the front yard, pecking at the ground for food and I wonder if Andy killed the big snail I saw on the front porch yesterday. It is good to relax here and know that we are mostly unpacked but when I get to thinking about the stresses I need to address, my stomach turns into knots and I let out a heavy sigh.
The thing is, I know that sometimes evil wins and although it may be only a temporary win, innocent people get hurt and damaged. As I face others who are intent upon their getting their own way and will do what it takes to pursue their goals even if it means lying, I try to remind myself of what it says in Psalm 5:
"Lead me, O Lord in your righteousness because of my enemies -- make straight your way before me. Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction...
But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."
I have two weeks of school break and I need to run lots of catch-up errands like:
- Get my hair done (a well-needed cut and colour!)
- Take Milly to the vet for her annual check up
- Write a letter to the RTA to put forward our evidence as to why we should get all our bond back (knotted stomach)
- Catch up on 3 weeks that I am behind in Uni studies
- Write an assignment for Uni - (subject is Individual Assessment and Testing)
- Have a housewarming party (definitely something to look forward to!!!)
- Go to the dentist for a checkup and clean. (must)
- Weed the front garden
A wise friend wrote an email and said to me, "May God give you His peace Carolanne and a truly restoring break. I hope you take some time for yourself and not just for study. You've had such a difficult start to the year and a hard end to 2014. You need some time out, even if only half a day here and there, to relax and recharge your energy and enthusiasm for life." Yesterday as I unpacked my office, I came across some birthday cards that were given to me in October 2011, 2 months after Dave passed away and 2 days before I headed back to Australia. As I read them, I remembered the special love and friendship I was privileged to share with my family and friends over there. I came across a card from the principal/friend of the school I taught at in Spokane and she wrote, "The Lord caused you to impact many lives in the United States and He has great plans for you in Australia. You will be missed! Love you!"
As I reflect on how I am feeling, I am thankful for the many friends I have made. I have friends I can play with, laugh with, relax with, share with and pray with. I have friends who build me up and encourage me and they are all so unique. When I am feeling down and discouraged, when my stomach is in knots and I procrastinate because it hurts to remember and gather evidence of wrong-doing against me, it is good to be reminded that no matter what stuff is thrown at me, the real thing that counts - love, family, friends - are blessings that outweigh the hurt. I need to keep going and not let that hurt overshadow the value of loving and being loved.
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