As I drove home tonight, I watched the orange sun go down behind the hills that were sparsely dotted with gum trees and cattle grazing. With the bit of rain we've had lately, the paddocks were a little greener than usual but more rain is needed in this parched land. I have had a busy week but taking note of the scenery, watching the mountain where I live loom closer, I was thankful for the privilege of living here where I am. I was not cut out to be a city-chick and jeans, boots and tops are much more comfortable than skirts, tops and sandals.
Riding a horse is preferable to riding a pushbike, walking along concrete pathways and to some extent, even driving my Rav4. There is something immensely carefree about cantering on a horse with the wind blowing gently, the sun shining warmly and it's just you and your trusty steed. In fact, as we rode back along the road, Bob stopped us for a chat. He said that in years past, everyone around here owned and rode horses but you don't see it much anymore. He was happy to see us riding. A friend rolled into his driveway and we moved the horses back across the road and cantered around the paddock before giving rides to my friend's sons. Her boys are eager to ride and it was satisfying to watch them take the reins in hand and walk around the yard.
It has been a long week. Teaching a class of 11 and 12 years old can have challenges and the impact of a world in chaos, causes confusion and heartache for the children. Teaching them how to divide and multiply decimals, how to write a newspaper report and how to measure an earthquake (Science) is just a part of the whole. In all my years of teaching, I sometimes wonder what difference I can make. The course I am doing is just to have the piece of paper that qualifies me and gives me the recognition to do what I have already been doing (aside from teaching) for years.
I asked Andy the other day, "How many teachers do you remember from primary school and what do you remember about them?" Having said that, recently a colleague from teaching a couple years ago wrote on my Facebook page that she'd been in contact with some of my students from that year. She added, "Just wanted to remind you that you make an impact on your students regardless of wherever you go and how ever long it's for." I needed to hear that.
I got my results back for my first assignment and I passed. I passed both my tests well and that has taken the pressure off me for my 2nd assignment due in less than two weeks. As much as I enjoy this course, I am really looking forward to having a few months break from study, having my weekends free and being able to do day trips, ride my horse and spend more time with friends. Have I ever told you how good my friends are?!
I came home from work to a clean house, a yummy dinner and a good man waiting for me. He's a bit bruised and battered. This week in netball, someone stood on his foot and it looks like he might lose a toe-nail. I am so thankful for the way Andy takes care of me and the way he encourages me to do the things I enjoy and persevere in the challenges.
Well, it's getting late and although I can sleep in in the morning, I have an assignment to do and I might even get another ride in on the weekend.
I got my
assignment handed in on time - by the bare split of a few minutes but at least
it was done. I am not confident about my results so if I pass, that will
be a bonus. Since then, I've been catching up on the readings for the next
module in preparation for the quiz that will be taken next week before the 18th
October. After that, I have one more assignment due in on
29th October and then that subject will be done and I'll only have
three more subjects to go. I should be finished my Masters halfway through 2016. As I was scrolling through the class notes, expectations and
schedule, I saw a note that the lecturer had added:
"You
are nearly done so stay positive and focused. When negative self talk causes
you to question your capacity to do a task, remind yourself of how many tasks
you have done in other areas of your life and in your learning journey. You
have been successful before and you can be here as well."
How
timely that bit of advice was and it covered how I was feeling so well! I keep pacing myself, reminding myself that I am more than half way through my course and that I can do it. The lecturer said to remind yourself of what you have achieved in the past. In the last five
years, I have sometimes felt like I've been tossed about as though in a washing
machine then hung out on the line until dry and ready to move forward. Now I
feel like I have my feet firmly planted on the ground and am taking steps
towards goals that include getting my Masters of Education in a field that I am
passionate about, (counseling children), living a life that I enjoy balancing
work, sport, home-life and I must admit that for the most part I am
content. Sure it would be nice to live closer to the beach and nice to have our
own place but I have enough for now.
I
started off this by giving dates. Dates and times have always been important to
me for as long as I can remember. I guess it's my way of knowing how far I've
come and how far I've still got to go. For example, I decided that I would do
the 30 day plank challenge (The plank is a balance and core conditioning exercise. You can also perform the plank as a stand-alone exercise. The full plank, where you balance on both arms.) which means every day you do a plank for a certain
amount of time, building up until after 30 days, you can do a plank for 5
minutes. I am up to being able to do one and half minutes. Anyway, Andy is
doing it with me but when he is timing me, I ask him to count by 5 seconds out
loud. He doesn't understand why I do it like that. He prefers to do it with
just the music playing and for me to say "Stop" when his time is up.
I need to know how far I've got to go so that I can hold out for that long.
Doing a plank is not my idea of fun but it's a challenge and believe me, as soon as I get to the "Stop", I stop, collapse, laugh and feel relieved that it's over for the day.
As stated before, I am content. I was thinking about what it means to be content and I think sometimes people misunderstand it as being complacent. I am content but I keep moving forward and aim for more: more understanding, more learning, yes, even more fun and money if I can. I take the time to enjoy what I already have and try not to take it for granted. I share when I can because I love to see others enjoy life too. Last week during my holidays, I invited my friend Jane to come and play with Lucky and gave her three sons rides and 'lessons' in riding. The boys especially loved riding Lucky. They wore their cowboy boots, shirts and jeans and listened carefully to what they needed to know about holding the reins. I invited another older friend to bring her husband who is in a retirement home to come and enjoy Lucky, too. They were surprised that Lucky would just stand there even when I walked away.
Next week I am having a birthday and have invited friends around. I have parties not so I can be the center of attention but rather so that I can see all my friends at the same time and they can all meet each other and have fun together. Any excuse will do. Next week I am planning to ride to school on Lucky with a student who has her own horse. I keep Lucky at her parents' place and we've done a practice ride already. We are both looking forward to it. I hope to go and ride tomorrow and try out a small saddle bag I bought that can keep our water bottles and my phone safe and accessible, while I ride.
If you have followed my journey, you know that life hasn't always been easy for me and it has certainly had its challenges! There's been change, pain, grief and loneliness but I chose not to stay stuck there. I have tried to make choices that are congruent with the gifts and abilities that God has given me and that allow me to do things that I am passionate about. I do feel incredibly blessed to have so much: love, family, friends, a class that I love teaching, sports I love playing, the ability to play and do things I enjoy. Andy has been an amazing support to me and I am extremely thankful for the relationship we share together.
The other day, Lucky took me by surprise and bit me. We think he had a sore spot so when I brushed him, it hurt. I got a big bruise and have taken photos and told an acquaintance I was thinking of putting the photo on Facebook. She turned to me and said, "You need to get a life!" My other friend who was there, shook her head after the acquaintance had gone and I said, "Not sure what more I could fit into my life. Sometimes I struggle as it is to get everything done." I wish I could finish this post off with a pithy saying or a motivational quote but I'm out of words for now and just know that I am thankful and content for so many reasons.
 |
| Contentment |
