The In-Between Space

Recently I read of the term "Liminal space" which is used to describe the in-between space: 

"The word liminal comes from the Latin word limen, meaning threshold – any point or place of entering or beginning. A liminal space is the time between the ‘what was’ and the ‘next.’ It is a place of transition, waiting, and not knowing." 

Ocean rafting & snorkelling before we left.

This aptly describes where Andy and I have been for much of this year. So much has happened that I don't know where to start. I've tried a number of 'starts' but then it gets bogged down into too much information and too many emotions to try and address it in an objective way. Suffice to say, we needed to move out of an environment that was causing too much distress, the truth was being strangled out by selfish ambition and in order to maintain our integrity, we believed it was important for us to take a big, unpredictable, life-changing step, forward.


Recently I read another quote that appealed to me: What God does in us while we wait, is as important as what it is we are waiting for. 

While we have been in our liminal space, I have caught up and renewed friendships with family and friends, we have moved back to our 'home state' and I have been teaching in a non-composite class. We have grieved our losses, the friends who betrayed us and/or abandoned us, and we have also had to deal with our anger at being treated unjustly. But in the midst of all this, once again I recognise the many blessings and even the Lord's hand in protecting us from what could have been more 'damaging' to our wellbeing and finances.
So, let's skip over to this crazy week of school holidays. Last Monday, I rode and fell off my horse, Boston - if you want to know more about it, head over to the blog post on Falling Off A horse at my "Horses, Teaching and Other Important Things" blogspot. Anyway, apart from being a bit sore around my neck and shoulders, ribs, I knew that I hadn't broken anything.


(Oh I do need to put in an aside paragraph here: In late May, Andy wanted to ride with my friend Jamie and I, and he ended up falling off a horse, breaking 4 ribs and his left clavicle. Being of an older age, he is taking a longer time to heal and may need an operation to re-break his clavicle and set it again. He has an appointment on Monday to find out. Meanwhile, he has also not acclimatized well to the colder and different germs down here and has had a number of colds. Then, to add insult to injury, his right shoulder began to give him more pain. He went to the doctor who informed him that due to his labouring years, he now has a degenerative condition in his neck/vertebrae etc.) 

The day after my fall, we went and picked up my pushbike which had been serviced and had needed a number of spokes replaced. Even though I felt a bit sore, I could not resist taking my bike and riding around for a bit. There are plenty of places to ride around here and I was looking forward to getting back on my bike. At least my bike wouldn't be getting an attitude and tossing me. I saw a few magpies but none swooped me so I made it safely home. We also put Andy's bike into be serviced. He used to ride around a lot but hadn't ridden in the last few years. 

On Wednesday morning, of course I was still aching but then I looked in the mirror and noticed a round bruise on my stomach, about 10cm in diameter. Horrified, I wondered what damage I had done to cause it. I knew I had fallen on my back, or my butt as my brother had described it and I knew I had sort of rolled on to the ground off my horse so I wondered how I could have gotten a bruise there. As I showered, I also felt a bit faint so I made an appointment at the doctor's so it could be written off as "nothing to worry about", just all the normal aches and pains caused by falling off a horse.

The doctor ordered a CT scan concerned I may have ruptured a spleen or done damage to my neck and while I waited for it, again I felt faint and sick and had to lie down. I assume it was the shock and the heat of the surgery that caused this feeling but it got their attention and the CT scan was done. A different doctor came in with the report and said the good news was that the aches and pains were due to the fall and nothing broken or cracked etc. While we were waiting for the doctor, Andy and I figured out that the bruise was due to the horn of the saddle - as I was being tossed around by Boston, it would have prodded me. The doctor confirmed that would be right, as the bruise had the imprint of the saddle horn, although he admitted that being a city bloke, he had not thought of that.

Anyway, the CT scan also noted that I have a gall stone, about 10mm in size, which the doctor said, is quite large. It explains why I had such an adverse reaction to the last time I ate pork belly and why I've been having stomach pains. I'd put it down to stress and/or adjusting to new germs/climate, not wanting to admit to anything more sinister. I had not admitted it to Andy and he was right when he rebuked me gently, about keeping him informed about such things. The doctor has told me I will need an operation but he thinks it can wait until the end of the school year. I will see him tomorrow for more information.

We got home and I must admit I was relieved for a number of reasons already recorded here. I sat down in the recliner and Andy began cooking dinner. Now, we have 2 smoke alarms in our house. One at the front end of the house, the other at the back end of the hall and the kitchen is off the middle of the house. The smoke alarms are loud and piercing and when they go off, Milly runs out of the house and hides in the bushes in the garden. We had visitors a month or so ago and the smoke alarms went off then. Just a hint of smoke sets the alarms off. To stop them, we have to wave teatowels at them.

As Andy checked the roast, the smoke alarms went off and Milly ran out. Andy waved a cloth at the one near the front door and I went to the one at the back. The alarms stopped and we went back to doing what we had been doing. Then it happened again and we repeated our response. And again it happened. This was getting beyond a joke. When it happened the fourth time, Andy came up to the same smoke alarm as me and I snapped at him and said he needed to be at the front smoke alarm because I couldn't be in both places at the same time. He admitted he had burnt his thumb and index finger on his right hand so I sent him back to soak it in cold water and eventually the smoke alarms stopped and no fire engines came. 

I served up the dinner while Andy soaked his thumb and finger in cold water and had a couple of Panadol. We knew not to break the blister and not to put ice on it but as the pain didn't go away, we decided to head back to the medical centre where there was a chemist. She sent us up to the doctor on 'emergency', up to the same floor and the same doctor that I had seen a few hours earlier. Dr Tom prescribed cream for it and the nurse applied the cream and bandage and the doctor asked Andy to come back and see him in a couple days time. We went down to reception and made his appointment to be the one just before mine. 

So, it's been a crazy week but despite that, it's something we can look back on and not only learn from, but also laugh at. Laugh at it's absurdity! 

I do want to state again that there have certainly been good times throughout all of this bad stuff too. We have great friends who support, encourage and have fun with us, I have a job at a great school until the end of this year, we have a home for Boston with my brother, where Boston is thriving, Milly is happy, runs around in our large backyard and plays with other family members' dogs, and we are feeling more settled than we have in a while. We want to put down roots and have something permanent and we do feel (hope) that we are coming to the end of our liminal space. We know that God has provided for all our needs up until now and we know that there is no reason to believe that He won't in 2020.  

Tomorrow we are going to the beach to have our car registration and our licences changed into this state. We have unpacked a few more boxes over the holidays and I have found more teaching resources and things that I will be able to use next term. 

To top off the week, daylight savings starts on Sunday. The downside is we lose an hour of sleep the night before I go back to work but the upside is, we get longer daylight to play with when I get home from work. We didn't have daylight savings when we lived in Queensland and both of us missed it!

So, no matter what space we are in, no matter what we are going through, joys and trials, God is good. All. The. Time.