When it hit me

When it finally hit me, we had been out shopping and I had bought a cold diet coke and been given two free bags of ice from a local supermarket. Everywhere we drove, there were trees and fences down, trees standing bare without their leaves, people out moving branches and devastation. I looked up the word, "Devastation" in the dictionary and it didn't seem to really portray what I meant. Synonyms for it include: noun destruction

• confusionstar
• desolationstar
• havocstar

• ravagesstar
• ruinstar
• defoliationstar

• demolitionstar
• depredationstar
• lossstar

• pillagestar
• plunderstar
• ruinationstar

• spoliationstar
• waste

That about sums it up. I went into my room and was silent, shedding a few tears for about an hour. I compared it to my losses of the past but they are all unique and pain can't be measured or compared. I no longer want to upload or take photos of the destruction the cyclone caused. 

As with others who go through trauma of any sort, it reminds us to appreciate what we have and to love the people who are in your life. We went to a friend's place to help them out and as they had a generator, I was able to have a hot shower and wash my hair. I told her later, it was the best gift anyone could give me.

A week later, we are still without power but we do have running water and as we have bottled gas, we can have hot showers at home. People around us have generators and at night, these are noisy but in the long run, it doesn't matter. The community are rallying around each other and offering support where they can, as it happens in most towns unified by a common traumatic event. There are stories of hope and unfortunately there are stories of scumbags. That is the world we live in. 

As with any trauma, it is important to keep moving forward, find the blessings that give hope and deal with it in your own time without feeling you have to succumb to a time line or force a smile on your face because someone said you should. Acknowledge your pain, have a cry if you need to but keep moving forward. Find a friend you trust and who loves you enough to give you that 'slap across the face' (not literally) if need be and then gives you a hug and chocolate and says, "I love you". Cry if you want to. Go out and move a few trees or branches from the yard. Run and burn off energy. Do what you need to do in order to get through to the other side of pain so you can live life again.