My Goal for 2017

This has been the quietest, most settled Christmas/summer holiday I have had in years!! I have done nothing profound and have not been facing any major life changes. Instead, I have read books, done fun shopping, celebrated Christmas with a tree (albeit fake but still something to look pretty and decorate) and I have caught up with friends. 

Andy and I have done day trips and done a lot of talking. In 9 days time we will celebrate our wedding anniversary and also recognise we have been here for a year on that same day. I tentatively look forward to a future and if you've read other posts on this blog, you will know why I say 'tentatively'. Personally, I feel that life holds a lot of uncertainty and because of that, we need to hold our plans with an open hand and be ready to adapt them when a curve ball gets thrown our way. 

Over this break, I have also been studying a subject for uni and my last assignment is due January 20th. I got my first assignment for that subject back today and I didn't do as well as I had thought I had. Perhaps the key is to have low expectations?? Anyway, after I got cross with myself and wondered why on earth I was even doing this course, wondered why I couldn't be satisfied with passing and wished I'd never even started the course, I picked myself up and did some positive self talk. "I'm doing this because I want to learn. There is no reason I have to get an A for every subject. I am doing this even though I could have chosen to take a holiday. I need to learn from this and make sure the 2nd assignment is more analytical and includes more detail despite having a word limit."

As I have been studying but also reading for pleasure, I've been thinking and reflecting. One of the books I'm reading is called, "Present over perfect" and it reminds me to make sure that I am being the person I am called to be and to make the most of each day. It's about living a life with meaning and being connected to our loved ones without being caught up in the busyness and sometimes complicated life. In it, the author says, "Burnout is not reserved for the rich or famous or the profoundly successful." I like her conclusion at the end of one part of the book: "Here's the thing: I might be doing it wrong, in someone else's view. But as I sit, my heart grows more compassionate. My gratitude increases. I become more humble, more thankful, less fearful." <-- That's what I want for my life in 2017: To be more compassionate, more thankful and less fearful. To be more compassionate means I try to be more encouraging and demonstrate grace. By less fearful, I mean I take up opportunities that might take me out of my comfort zone. I would say more humble but I'm not sure that if that's an oxymoron. 

Another book I am reading is called, "One thousand gifts" and it reminds me to live a life of gratitude. It talks about giving thanks even when there doesn't seem to be much to be thankful for and that when we give thanks, we often experience a deeper peace. I have been through  some tough times over the years but even during those terrible, dark times I know that there were things I could be thankful for. (and if you look back over the posts, you would read about them) I also know that when I focus on the painful bits, the hurts and the tough times, that I tend to feel overwhelmed and disappointed with 'life'. I feel like giving up and wonder why I even bother but that is why I need to choose to be thankful.

Take the case of my assignment: I didn't do as well as I had expected but I passed. I could give up but what would that achieve? I have learned so much doing this course and have been able to apply some of that learning in the classroom and even in my every day life. When I have my Masters, it might open up new doors of opportunity for me. I am thankful I have been able to do this course.

I am also thankful for Andy. He was outside weeding and working in the garden and when I told him I was disappointed in my results, he put the tools down and came and sat with me. He got me a glass of diet coke and encouraged me. He reminded me of how much I have already achieved. 

So if I was to have a goal for 2017, this would be it: That my heart would be more compassionate, that I would be more thankful and that I would be less fearful. 

Grace in 2017

Grace - favor or goodwill.

Synonyms: kindness, kindliness, love, benignity; condescension

The young girl sat on the floor playing with her Christmas toys while family and extended family talked and played table tennis. There was a knock at the door and in walked the 'shunned' family member. She'd heard much talk about him and peered at him curiously before returning to her gift. The man had hurt others, betrayed and cheated but everyone had prayed he would come home and they talked about forgiveness in his absence. After some time had passed, she noticed him about to leave. No one was paying attention and he seemed hesitant to leave. She looked around at her family and waited for someone to say or do something but they were all busy. She got up and went to the man and took hold of his hand. She stood on tiptoe and he bent down to hear her say, "I love you. Goodbye"  as she kissed him on the cheek. He wiped a tear from his eye and left their home and she never saw him again but that moment became the time her understanding of grace started growing in her.

There has been a lot of pain and sorrow in the world over 2016 and some are declaring it a bad year. Crowds have cried out against injustice - real and perceived, people have accused others of betrayal and cheating, some have lashed out, others have sneakily gossiped and lied sowing seeds of disunity while others have pointed the finger or manipulated circumstances for their own ends. It has happened on a worldwide scale and perhaps it's happened in your backyard. There was a song I used to know as a teenager and went, "Stop the world, I want to get off, This is too weird for me... I get the definite impression this isn't how it's meant to be. No. No."

Now that 2017 has come around, there are all sorts of reflections about 2016 going around including the comment that 130 celebrities have died. In a smaller post on Facebook, three names of people who have made a difference to medicine and science also died in 2016 but despite their contribution to 'life', they were little known. News is graphically blasted into our living rooms as we watch on our TVs and we become so aware of the hatred and evil that sometimes seems to control our world. We shudder at what is happening and pray fervently for peace.

For me, peace will only come when we start showing grace to others and this begins at home with my friends and family. I don't have control over the actions of others but I do need to take responsibility for demonstrating unconditional love and grace to those around me; my family, workplace and those in my community. Closer to home, I see how friends and family are treated and I see how others point their fingers to blame, whisper about someone's failings and "throw the next stone". I don't want to be one of those people but sometimes it is all too easy to join in and become part of the crowd. 

There are people in my life who I admire but if I told them that, they would blush or try to brush it off because one of the main traits they have in common, is their humility. They have faced some real life tragedies of their own and yet are 'ordinary people' doing extraordinary things. In the midst of their own pain, they are making a difference around them. They sit beside a dying loved one, play music to children with disabilities and go out for coffee to encourage their hurting friends when they would rather be at home. They step outside of their comfort zone and use their gifts and abilities in order to give someone else hope in their difficult time. 

In 2017, who are you going to be? When I was growing up, there was a saying that when you point the finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back at you. Let's stop blaming, stop manipulating things to get our own way and stop hurting others. Let's find out how we can encourage others, get to know them and love them. Some are dealing with circumstances you may not know about. Let's be the little girl mentioned at the start of this post and take someone by the hand, reach up and whisper encouraging words of grace even when no one else is looking.

Grace for 2017

From the Bible: 
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14