The In-Between Time

Wow! Almost 5 months since I last posted but life is busy.

I got married on January 12th this year to Andy.

I am working full-time with a wonderful grade of students and we have fun learning even when the learning is challenging. I am continuing with my study but this semester is a difficult, intense subject on Child Abuse and Neglect. I have an assignment to complete in the next few days so right now I'm taking a break from it. One thing I have found is that breaks are essential and I have to physically move right away from the work and go and do something different such as practice my goal shooting.

Andy and I are playing mixed netball on Tuesday nights which is a lot of fun and I play goal shooter. As I am the captain, I have also organized regular training sessions. We don't win every game but we enjoy it. Last Tuesday we lost by only 3 goals and I was very excited as I only missed one goal! I am also playing squash in a social competition and Andy is playing tennis in a social competition. During the last school holidays, we went and stayed at the beach for a few days and tried out our new bodyboards. Andy went swimming/body boarding twice a day even when it was raining whereas I preferred to only swim when the sun was out shining. It was a very relaxing and fun time.

I like spending time with Andy. Sometimes it's not easy as we both learn to adjust to each other but we like doing things together. Andy doesn't have a job at the moment but he is doing a good job at keeping the household clean and tidy, keeping Milly exercised and looking after me. Right now, he is out walking Milly which can take anything from 2 - 3 hours. He told me before he left "Don't do any housework because I will do it when I get back." For those who know me really well, you can stop laughing. He has been asking my good friends who have known me for years, how to get me to apply myself to study. They all generally respond the same way. After they finish laughing they tell him that he doesn't need to worry because I will get it done.

Life is good despite the challenges. Sometimes, however, I feel that I am pushing myself in every direction to get everything done and I just want to stop without the pressures, even though some of those pressures are fun. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I tend to fall into the "Why do I have to start all over again at my age??!!" pity party. I can look around me and see friends of my age who are settled in their life, who have been that way for years and I look at what I am doing and have done and although I am moving forward and up, I want to "be there" already.

Just today, I was looking on Facebook and saw a video clip that Sandi Patty had posted called "The  in-between" and I listened and also looked up why she wrote that song. It really touched me.

Some of the lyrics are:

I have seen some glorious days
Where I flew so much higher
Much higher than I ever thought I would,
And soaring through the air I would declare,
“Well, isn’t God good?
Isn’t He good?”

And He was and He is
And He always will be,
But in the in-between
It’s hard for me to see.

In the in-between
Where everyday life happens,
And the fields of green
Belong to someone else.
In the in-between
Of what will be and what has been,
Jesus is a faithful friend
In the in-between.

I have been unsure of myself
But even in the dark,
I’m pretty sure that all is well,
And then I see,
There in the mirror looking back at me,
A work that is not everything that it will be.

And as I continued reading, she went on to say, "This “in-between” is a hard place for me. I don’t traditionally do transition well. I like to “know” things and, OK, I’ll say it out loud, “I like to control things.” I have learned along the line of my faith journey how to manage the lows. Not well, but at least to manage them. And, I think I’ve learned how to manage the highs. But, this “in-between” stuff I don’t do so well. It’s the whole “I need to know” stuff. I don’t wait so well. I don’t “be still” so well. And, perhaps it is this very reason that God has placed me in this “in-between” area of my life. Because, the only thing I can do is trust, and wait, and believe that God is at work. "

I really know how that feels. When I have been at my darkest days, God has carried me and held me through it. Now that I am "in-between" and I know that everything is not as it will be one day, I still want it to be now and want to know when. I told Andy last night, "I just want to know what is going to happen. I want life to be 'comfortable'... to  not have to keep learning and pushing forward. I want to be at the place where I can just be.

Well, enough break time, I need to get my assignment done. I'll add a few more photos below of our wedding and one more of the beach - just because.