One Step and Then Another

Crazy, concerning and confusing
Objectionable, oblivious it once was and now an obstacle to overcome
Vexatious, vicious and a vaccine still to be discovered
Illogical, incredible and up until a few months ago, inconceivable
Disturbing, daunting and doubtlessly dastardly

At the beginning of the year, no one knew the Corona virus would cause a worldwide pandemic and we were oblivious to the destruction it would wreak upon lives - families, individuals, friendships, death, illness, time. The two posts I wrote earlier this year did not even hint at what this year would hold because I had no idea!!!!

But before the corona virus came and wrapped its vicious tendrils:

The good news is I found a job where I am very happy. I don't have to drive in traffic jams to get there and my favourite class is delightful! I work with colleagues who are kind and professional and we all share the planning and our work with each other. There is so much concern for the wellbeing of our students and I feel very privileged to be a part of it all.

At my interview I was asked if I was able to hit the ground running so being employed 2 days before the students came, I hit the ground running.
At my interview I was asked what area I would like to grow in professionally and I responded with learning more about how technology could be used in the classroom. Covid happened, remote learning began and I learned so much about teaching my students in an online forum, using technology, apps and other computer programs powered by the internet. Resources that were found in books were somewhat discarded and I searched for, evaluated and used new resources to teach content I was already familiar with.

In the last week of Term 1 in March we began teaching our students remotely. We did not know how long this would last for and we took it on board, meeting our students at the start of each period in zoom meetings. We checked in on how they were coping and we tried to provide a reassuring forum for them to learn as well as cope with this new and unfamiliar 'world'.

The two week holiday break was a good time to prepare for the indefinite amount of remote teaching we would have to do in Term 2. It was also a time to prepare mentally for coping in this new and very uncertain time. Resilience means being grateful on a daily basis and being able to empathise with others and every day, I posted at least one photo and description of something I was thankful for on Facebook. (Which I later turned in to photo books) I do have a lot to be thankful for and much of it comes down to people: my family, my friends; the people I love and enjoy sharing laughter and good times with.

My goal to walk 2020 kms in 2020 is well on target and I am thankful for the many steps Andy and I have taken together to achieve this goal. I've walked over 1,500,000 steps so far this year. I've walked on the sand, the rocks, the road and pathways. I've walked in the rain, the sunshine, windy days and cold and avoided being pelted by the hail. I've seen sunsets that have amazed me and sunrises that greeted a new day with colour. I've listened to the sweet sounds of magpies and the laughter of kookaburras and children. As I've walked along the water's edge I've heard the water gently lapping over the rocks and watched seagulls looking out over the ocean spying out their next meal.

After the 2 week break, remote learning continued for 8 weeks of Term 2 and then the students came back to school, eager to see their friends and learn in the more traditional way for the last 3 weeks of term. Teaching in the classroom means we can keep a closer eye on our students, see where they are more challenged and respond to the unspoken queries they have. We are more likely to notice the furrowed brow, the incomplete work and the nervous smile. At the end of the term, we suggested they take their main workbooks home... just in case.

The first week of this break I did a lot of school work, aiming to have it completed and ready for Term 3 by the start of the 2nd week. I was scheduled to have an op on the Tues but the hospital called to reschedule it to the following Friday as the building extensions had taken longer than expected and they wanted to minimise infections. This gave me 3 extra days of free time and I was ready for it! We drove north for about 3 hours and caught up with a friend and completed my tax return for the year. The next day we went shopping at a DFO and went for a walk along the beach and then we found out news that would once again impact our lives.

Restrictions were going to be put back in place as of midnight Wednesday. Foggy Wednesday morning, we drove out to my brother's place, spent some time with my horse Boston and went for a walk with the dogs along the country road. We drove over to Andy's old tennis club so he could have a hit of tennis with his good mate, and after coming home to change, headed to Nathan and Melanie's place for dinner. Lock down was going to be for 6 weeks so we were making the most of it.

Thursday morning I called the hospital as I had a few questions and they again confirmed the details for the op tomorrow. We went for a walk so that I could get my 10,000 daily steps in and just before dinner was served I got a phone call from the hospital rescheduling my surgery until after I have had a covid test, due to the new lockdown restrictions. They apologised for the inconvenience and the late notice and said it would be a priority to book me in as soon as the clear test results were in. Very disappointing. I know these are unusual days, crazy days and it does make it hard to feel settled - and yes, I had been feeling settled and content this year despite the circumstances.

When all is said and done and as my friend Tonia reminded me again this evening, "We make plans but we hold them lightly and then go with the flow... in God."

Resilience. Wellbeing. Gratefulness. No matter what the circumstance, it's taking one step after another and not being held back by our doubts, our hurts, our fears. It's taking one step forward and then another, knowing that we are moving forward. The scenery around us may be changing and it's OK to stop and take a moment to catch our breath but we need to keep taking those steps forward.

Walking Along the Beach

My favourite place to walk is the beach. I love seeing the powerful waves, the frothy tips that kiss the shore, the unending deep ocean that goes as far as my eyes can see. I love hearing the waves crashing as they break, blocking out all the other noise that would distract me from being in this moment. As I walk along the sand, sometimes my feet sink and it becomes difficult to move forward, sometimes my toes feel the coolness of the water and sometimes the waves surround my ankles. It's as though all the stress of real life is a long way away.

My favourite beach is my refuge. It's where I go to be alone. A little over 20 years ago, when my mum was dying, I would come here. Here I could cry out to God. Here was a visible reminder of His power that is more powerful than the waves He created, His love that is deeper than the ocean and His presence that is unending. Every now and again I would see seaweed being tossed about in the waves and I would think about all the creatures lurking in the deep waters that I couldn't see. As I walked along the beach, sometimes I would pick up a shell and toss it back into the ocean. But it was here I knew that despite His awesome power and majestic ways, God still cared about me and for every tear I cried, He felt it too. Whether it be at that time or other times when I was hurting, this was my place to go.

Over the years I have walked along this beach with friends. Sometimes we would share the concerns and worries we were feeling, sometimes we would walk and talk, sometimes we would stop and play, making sandcastles, splashing in the water, laughing and just enjoying each other's company.

I have been to this beach and sat on the sand, thinking and reflecting.
I have sat at the picnic table and written fictional stories for fun.
I have eaten ice-creams in a cone as I've walked along the beach.
I have stood at the water's edge and breathed in the smell of the ocean, while the water danced over my toes.

In any weather, this is the place to be. When the sky is threatening and the waves seem stronger and more powerful, I can watch awestruck.
When the sun is shining brightly and the ocean is so pretty, I can feel lighthearted and positive about the future.
I can watch families playing beach cricket, throwing a frisbee, digging holes or having a picnic. I can watch fishermen stand on the shore and throw their lines out into the water hoping to catch something... anything. I can watch dogs run down to the water and throw themselves in, swimming over the waves and then coming back to shake it all out. And yet, there have been times when I am the only one there and my footprints are the only ones in the sand.

To this beach, I took Andy for our wedding anniversary yesterday and we walked along the beach together, hand in hand. We enjoyed the sounds of the waves crashing, we laughed at the dogs playing and remarked about how kites must be made differently to when we were children because now, they stay in the air so easily. At one point, Andy walked into the water, faced down a wave and dived into it. When I told him about how I used to throw shells back into the ocean, he told me of a Charlie Brown comic where one of his friends scolds him for doing the same because, "Think of the hard effort it was for the shell to get here!" (or something like that.)

Walking along the beach is one of my favourite things to do and sharing it with people I love, makes it that much more enjoyable.

ABIDE

Just before the new year began, I completed a short quiz with multiple choice questions to learn of my 'word for the year'. I was skeptical about the simple choices and when I was given the word 'abide' I was disappointed. I wanted a word with fire, a word that would motivate me and encourage me. Words such as 'courage' or 'joy' or 'endurance'. After all, at the moment I am in a place of uncertainty, without a job and without being able to be settled, yet I want security and to be able to get on with living life to its fullest.

But the more I thought about the word, the more I liked it. Abide suggests an acceptance of 'circumstances' and being at peace through that time. I thought of the Bible verse, "If you abide (remain) in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." John 15:7 I am not naive to believe that this means I can make up a wish list and that Santa Clause will give me all that I want but I do believe that at this time, (or any time for that matter) I need to remember that no matter what I am going through, I need to 'abide'.

When I go to open a packet/box of biscuits, cereal or other food and I read the words, "Open other end", I turn the box over and open at the 'right end'. Rarely do I 'rebel' and open the box the wrong way, so when I am given a word for the year, I take it on board. I looked up the word 'abide' in the dictionary and it said:

• to remain, continue, stay
• to endure, sustain or withstand without yielding or submitting
• to wait for, await
• to remain steadfast or faithful to; keep

That definition seems perfect for me, so "ABIDE" is my word for 2020.

As I look ahead from my present, I have no certainty of where I will be even at the end of this month. However, in this present, I need to abide. 

While I am waiting, my intention is to make the most of every day and get myself in order. I am not one who makes New Years resolutions, instead I resolve to keep moving forward. Therefore:
I am going to be healthier and walk every day. My resolve is to walk 10,000 steps daily and to meet the goal of walking 2020kms in 2020. 
I am going to write more often and write in my journal, daily. I may even write more at this blog or at my "Horses, teaching and other important things" blogsite. I might even begin to write the children's novel that I have always spoken about.
Perhaps I will take on another course. Andy has always laughingly suggested that I will take on more study....

Sadly, at the end of last year, only a couple weeks ago, my nephew passed away from a rare stroke. He had only just turned 19 and yet he had lived each day serving and loving others. None of us can control the amount of days we live but we can determine how we will live out those days.

ABIDE

Blessed is the one whose delight is in the Law of the Lord..
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither -- whatever they do prospers.