Wedding In 2014

Yesterday was the last day of 2013 and I reflected back on the last couple of years. I began by remembering where I was on New Year's Eve 2012 and remembered being in a motel swimming pool in Tamworth at the beginning of my own personal road trip heading north, planning to see more of Australia and planning to catch up with some friends I had not seen in a while. My tent was packed and I had no time limits as I had no idea what I was going to do the following year. I didn't have a job, didn't know what I was going to do in the coming year, was chaffing at the bit to  move forward but had no idea of where 'forward' was.

By the time I had returned from my road trip at the beginning of February, I had developed some kind of goal for the coming year. I began packing boxes, making phone calls and saying goodbye to the wonderful friends I had met in 2012. Saying goodbye is never easy and words of "I'll stay in touch" while made more possible by emails and Facebook still don't quite mean the same as being just around the corner. When I got to this new place, it didn't take me long at all to feel settled. I began studying a Master of Education majoring in Educational Guidance and Counselling, I found a place that I could call home and Milly, my Labrador puppy came and playfully added something more to my life.

By July I had a place to work where I quickly made friends and continued to engage in teaching - a passion/lifestyle job that I enjoy and although it was only part time at first, it reminded me of how much I love teaching! I started trying another church, quite bigger than the first one but I was impressed by it's welcome and the fact that although it was bigger than others I had attended, it did not have the feel of being an 'entertainment centre'. I joined a home group that I enjoyed going to and made friends there too. Along the way, Andrew persisted in his pursuit of my friendship and in early December, we officially got engaged although we had already discussed it before that. We had decided early on that if we did get engaged, it would be a short engagement and hence, we are getting married on Sunday, January 12th.

 

People's responses to our engagement have been varied and some have been surprised by the apparent quickness of it all. Those who have walked with me in my journey and who have cried with me when I have cried, who have listened to my pain over the last couple of years since Dave's passing and who have seen the steps I have taken in this journey, have also celebrated with me, the love and friendship that Andrew has brought into my life. 2013 has been a year of unexpected pleasant surprises and a reminder that God does bring healing and restoration into our lives. A year ago, I did not expect to be in this place - in any aspects - and yet, here I am.

A "friend" complained to me that I had a wonderful life and that it seemed unfair that things go so well with me. That friend has seen only the last 10 or so months of my life and if she knew what I had been through to get to this point, maybe she wouldn't be quite so envious of what it took to get here. It hasn't been easy but I am thankful for the many blessings that I have in my life. I believe I have also learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself in and to trust God when all seems dark and the trail seems overgrown with fallen tree limbs, rocks and seemingly impassable tracks to follow.

As our wedding day approaches, I am thankful for Andrew and the love he has for me. His desire is to first serve God and to secondly be a good husband to me and he prays for that daily. Although we love each other, we are still needing to learn to trust each other, communicate together and find the way to honour and cherish each other.

At times, I find myself reflecting on the life that I thought I would have had with Dave. I miss my family and friends in the States and miss the lifestyle we had planned together. I am able to talk to Andrew about this and he responds with "Well, we are going to have to save up so that we can go and visit them as soon as possible." Life with Dave didn't turn out how I expected it to and sometimes I wonder if it will this time. I have told Andrew that I want to die first because I don't want to have to go through the pain I have already been through, again. As if we have a say in it.

Friends of mine are looking forward to the year ahead and along with them, so do Andrew and I. I know that I need to continue to be thankful for what (and who) I have in my life and to truly treasure each day that God has given me to live. As I did last year, I want to continue to make good choices about living a life that is honouring to God. I want to continue to do my best in my study and in my work and use my gifts and talents for that purpose. Now I need to add to that 'list', that I want to be a good wife to Andrew. He has not been married before and he has brought so much happiness to my life, encouraging me to laugh and have fun. When I am acting 'silly' and playful, he not only tolerates and accepts that about me but also enjoys it. When I am serious and need to talk and share, he listens carefully. When he hurts me and I express that, he apologises and seeks to put things right.

Part of me quietly considers whether this wonderful guy will continue to be so wonderful but as I eat another slice of banana/chocolate chip cake that he has baked, I put it in the Lord's hands knowing that with Him all things are possible and as He is the one who brought Andrew into my life, He is also the one we will trust to lead us.